


Contemplation from the Commonwealth

by yara560



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Gen, I just have a lot of emotions, just some one-shots, sorry these might be a bit sloppy, spoilers for fo4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 05:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12450960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yara560/pseuds/yara560
Summary: Just some fallout 4 one-shots





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SS reflects.

As we descended lower and lower into the darkness, the haze and burn of the bombs just above us, the screams a second past, the suburban view annihilated...

 

I was still in a state of shock. What had just happened hadn't really hit me yet. Of course, how could it? The whole situation was...ridiculous. It was all a little too cut and dry. Too conveniently "in time". After all, what are the chances of an all-out nuclear war, just after you've signed up to be in a Vault? 

 

Higher than expected, apparently.

 

Shaun's wailing snapped me out of my musing. Nate was still holding him, dear, sweet Nate, but for the life of him, he couldn't get him to be quiet. 

 

"Come on, Shaun. Come to mommy." 

 

Nate blinked at me, before quietly handing him over. "You... never mind. I'll grab us the...whatever they need us to grab." 

 

I nodded at him nonchalantly. "Yes, okay. Come on Shaun, be quiet. You know you have to behave, right? Can't have you throwing up here. Who knows what would happen..." I mumbled, a little frazzled by the whole experience. I don't know if Shaun could tell, but at that very moment, he chose to listen. 

 

Nate came back, looking a lot more worried than he did before. "Nita. Come on, hand him over. You don't....look too good. Just, why don't you just take a moment to sit down, okay?"

 

Now it was my turn to be worried. "Since when have you been so thoughtful, Nate?" I chuckled, taking his advice. "I married a different man." 

 

He sneered at me, taking the seat next to me. "I've been nothing but a gentleman, Nita. From the day I met you, till today."

 

Shaun decided to give in his input too, gurgling. 

 

"I'm disappointed, Shaun. Is this how it's going to be? Me against you boys?"

 

Nate smiled at me, reaching out to hold my hand. "Fortunately or unfortunately, it looks like you're stuck with us."

 

I smiled a little sadly. "I chose to stick with you. Just not like this," I said, gesturing to the Vault. 

 

A shot. Shaun, wailing. 

 

My smile dissipates from my face. Replaced by fear. Confusion. Despair.

 

"Nita? What's wrong?" 

 

I turn to answer him, at least I try to, but I can't. My voice catches in my throat. I can't. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I tried. I really tried. I couldn't- they mocked me, right after- right after you-

 

Gunshots. 

 

I'm taking cover behind the remains of a car, crouched over. Amber illuminated eyes look at me with concern. 

 

"You gonna be alright, kid?" 

 

I shake myself, in an effort to shake off the tension in my shoulders. 

 

Shrugging in reply, I ready my pistol.  "Let's just save the Commonwealth."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SS regrets doing what was necessary.

_Sometimes I wonder._

 

"Kid, get your act together, we don't have much time!" 

The metal ringing in my ears. Shock. Nick's voice was muffled. Almost like I've become...numb. Like I'm not really there. I think I'm trembling. Can't really tell.

 

Sometimes I'm a ghost, watching myself do these things, without so much as a seconds hesitation, cold-blooded. Systematic. One, two, three. Over. I had retired 7 years ago. The last time I held a gun? 5 years ago. I couldn't explain it. It was a monster who somehow lay dormant in me was now wearing my skin. Using me. Taunting me. 

 

Nick's...shaking me. Yelling. Pulling me away. Running. Hiding. Running again. What are we doing? Why are we....

A blast from a laser gun too close for comfort is what brings me back to reality. I look to Nick, who's somehow managed to get us behind cover. 

 

"What're ya gonna do next!?" 

 

He's angry. Shaken. Clutching his gun, he stares at me with those unwavering, unchanging, illuminated eyes. 

 

I don't answer. I turn away, firing at the nearest synths and take off running. "Teleporter!" Hope he understood. Running past the synths, the trees, the animals, the benches, the tables, the people, the past, present, and future. Away. 

 

Alarms blaring, people in disarray, panic. Panic wells up in my chest like nothing else, like everything at once, suffocating me, almost pulling me to a stop, but I can't. I have to run. For Nate. For Shaun. They have to be safe. But now, who am I running for? They're yelling.

 

"How could you!? You monster!"

 

Sometimes it doesn't feel real. Sometimes I'm just going through the motions. Sometimes I only really feel alive when I'm asleep. Sometimes I'm still back at home. Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I scream. I shout. But no one answers.  _They can't_. I won't let them. 

 

We manage to scrape through, and then we're disassembled, just molecules, traveling at unimaginable speeds, and somehow, somehow we're put back together. Outside. Out. Away from the Institute.

 

Only then, do I allow myself to breathe, but it comes out more like a strangled sob. This time, this time I'm not away, I'm there. Here. Feeling. Feeling the skeletal hand on my back, soft murmuring, electric whirring, heart beating, thud, thud, thud.

 

"I- Nick, I just- I don't know what-" Ugly, vulnerable sobs interrupt my speech. But it's not like anything I could've said would make things better. 

 

Sometimes I wonder, what made me pull the trigger?


End file.
